>>818932321>>818932368There is one whole other aspect to my situation.
It’s partially why I am willing to drop the arm and stop keeping it at arms length, but also partially what worries me about the situation because, it’s where I believe the mothers desire for this situation comes from:
Mom has had cancer twice. Once in her mid-20s and once a couple years ago. She and I are both in our early 30s.
She was a foster kid and doesn’t have family. I am stable, have money, and I’ve known her for 20 years, but only as acquaintances. The father is absolutely out of the picture— Permanently.
I don’t know how to broach the topic of “Your daughter doesn’t have to sleep with me for me to be willing to take care of her if anything happens to you“ — And what makes that a very awkward topic to bring up is that she and her daughter keep insisting that this is absolutely what they want and that they both really truly love me, and really truly wanted to be like this.
But I’m worried that fear of leaving her daughter with nothing is the reason behind all of this, under the surface.
The daughter is really smart and seems to know what she wants, and that seems to be me, but, come on, we all know people change their minds like 50 times a day in their teens.
It’s kind of a confusing situation and I haven’t accepted. Mom’s frail and skinny, pushing uncomfortably skinny 2 years after the last round of chemo. It’s like she never full recovery from it even if the cancer is gone.
Without bringing up the nature of the situation they presented I do keep trying to reassure her that her daughter isn’t going out on the street or anything like that if anything happens, and even offered to pay for college, and let her stay for as long as she needs.
Unfortunately I’m not living in the fantasy version of these situations. There’s so many unknowns in mine— I don’t know what mother or daughter really has in their head.
