No.648222483 ViewReplyOriginalReport
> Be me, 15, freshman
> All of my friends eat lunch 4th period
> I eat lunch 3rd period, so it was in my best interest to make a new friend or two, being Beta af.
> Sit at table with acquaintance from elementary school, Collin, and his friends.
>Make smalltalk with Collin
> Morbidly obese tard named Ryan sits down near me.
> I knew Ryan from 7th grade social studies, so I understood his tater-ness.
>"Hoyy, Ggoys", he mutters in a high-pictched, broken-english voice.
> Collin and his friends leave me with Tarden.
> About to eat my grilled cheese, but then I notice the lunch meat in the sandwich.
>Pull it out faster than a comdomless penis.
>Mmm, testy hayum, says Ryan.
> I say he can have it, and he devours it like a savage beast.
> Introduce myself
> We discuss things like Star Wars until he leaves to go to Tard HQ.
> Next day, Ryan shows up again.
>Ryan: Hllloh! (Hello).
> Other tard sits at the table. His name is Matt, but he was often called Fat Matt, because he is almost as huge as Ryan.
>Matt is a downy.
>Matt: Heyy, Ryyunn. You made a frund finlly.
>Ryan: Go way, Met.
>Matt: No wey. Yer frund looks gey, too.
>Ryan makes a tardy screech.
>Here it comes.
>Ryan flips over the table and I flee.
>Ryan: Me frend is nut GAYYYY!!!
>He takes off his shirt, revealing his huge moobs, and shoves Matt's face in his tray.
>Lunch AIDS (lel) and wranglers run over.
>Ryan grabs a banana and forcefully deepthroats Matt with it.
>At this point, I can confirm that what they say about tards and their feces is true.
>Ryan pulls down his pants, and diarrea flies everywhere. On wranglers, AIDS, and most of all, all over Matt.
>More wranglers show up.
>Everyone is staring, but luckily, I am a good ten feet away at this point.
>Feel sorry for custodian.
>Ryan waves goodbye to me as he is hauled away to either Tard HQ or the Slammer.
>"See ya, Ryan. Good luck."
>Wrangler scowls at me.
>Mfw Ryan did this all to defend my honor.
If requested, I'll do another Ryan story or two.