Sup /b/.

I'm an antisocial internet/movie addicted nerd without any skills or certifications whatsoever. I was forced into college and dropped out rebelliously(was a depressed whiny bitch the whole time) like a dumb ass but also because I was horrendous at math and had no clue what I wanted to major in. I'm 19 and pretty handsome, Spanish and Mexican roots, so I'm not afraid of dying a virgin but I have no aspirations in my life whatsoever right now. If I had to pick out a single skill I have that could potentially be monetized, it would have to be that most of my English teachers thought i was a damn good writer. I never wrote anything other than assignments but I had fun writing out my thoughts in the most sophisticated and engaging way possible. Lo and behold, the English teachers at my technical school also praised my essays/journal entries. So memes aside, what are some harsh truths I need to prepare for now in the life of a college drop out. Right now my mother is helping me pay the rent for my small house with a roommate who splits the costs but I'm planning on getting some basic job asap. Should I attempt to write more and see if I can find some sort of a passion for it or should I just get a job and work my way up the ladder somewhere. I have goals like getting a gf, moving to a different country, and building an expensive gaming desktop, but these goals seem to be pretty far off. I'm pretty materialistic, I just don't feel the urge to produce something for society that I'll maybe get paid for but at the same time, this passionless friendless life of mind is just a suicide bomb waiting to go off, if I could turn off these feelings of depression I would, I'm almost certain they stem from the constant societal standards shouted at me all my life. The prospect of suicide keeps creeping back but I'm too much of a pussy and I don't wanna know what's on the other side just yet. Plus I don't wanna put that on my mom, she's a saint who's always been there for me.