alright /b/rothers I have a story I need to share with you all
nobody has ever heard this story and you'll be the first to hear it
don't get cheeky you lucky fuckers

>holy shit, chick in my class
>is a fucking 10/10 everyday
>so fucking hot, you get it
>nobody can get with her
>all year long guys trying to get with her left and right
>mfw she starts talking to me after class one day
>everyday talking to me, fucking mint
>is always chatting to me on her phone, I am the luckiest guy alive
>so one day she invites me over to her house
>jam sandwich, glass of orange soda and some talking later
>on the couch together
>hot stuff gets hotter
>noone except us is home
>clothes coming off, shit's getting serious
>everyone's going to know anon, she says
>nope, I don't care, I'm definitely going to bang you
>ahh, she says, I just need one thing.

"WHAT?"
"I need about tree fiddy"

At this point I realised that this 10/10 chick I was about to bang was an 8 story tall crustacean from the Paleozoic era.
That goddamned Loch-Ness monster had tricked me again!
Bonus round: first letter every sentence