Two close friends of mine are dating. One of them was my best friend growing up. The girl he's dating is someone I feel like I'm pretty great friends with as well.
My best friend has always gone through depression and mental illnesses and hated himself so much. I wanted to help him so badly. I always tried my best to cheer him up and be there for him when he was in a low. But no matter what I did, he would still always have these ups and downs and I constantly feared that one day I'd get the word he'd killed himself or something.
As for his girlfriend, she's always been so alone. All of her friends for some reason went down the wrong path, like they all got addicted to drugs or wound up in prison. Her father's always at his job and hardly comes home. She's never really had any real friends who truly cared about her besides me and my best friend.
Both of them are SO happy together. They help each other so much. Like, they really are doing well. I've never seen my best friend so happy with a girl before, it makes me so happy to see him healing like that.
But fuck, I love her. I've loved her since I met her. I told my best friend about it before they started dating. My friend was really awesome about it and said he would stay away from that girl if it would make me feel bad. But like the fucking total cuck I am, I told him that it was okay. Because they were just so happy together, and my friend finally seemed to be healing.
He always asked me if it was okay, or if it was weird, and I just told him "no, it's okay. I don't like her anymore. I think it was just a temporary thing."
I just want my friend to be better. But I love that girl. I really do. I just push it down and act totally normal. But I feel so sick and so upset about it, while at the same time, I'm so happy that two people that I care about are feeling so happy.
Tl;Dr I love my best friend's girlfriend but I will never tell them because they seem so happy and content together.
I suck.
