I see you man.
Try to hang out, bt don't go in bars or that kind of shit.
See if you can contact a few people from work or from school, try and start building a good, TRUSTABLE friendship.
Anytime I doubt about someone, I stop being their friend and it always ends up that they would have fucked me.
Get trusty friends, maybe try weed, its super relaxing, makes you forget for a while and makes you happy.
You can change who you are for the better anon.