Listen, man, I met a fat girl on Tinder. Nice big juicy tits. We went out, despite me just trying to be nice. She was pretty cool, though, so we hung out again.
This time I told myself that we'd just be going out as friends.
Well I fucked her, and I hate to admit it, but it was by far the best sex I've ever had in my life. Like she was fucking good. And hey, a fuck is a fuck.