If you plan on offing yourself, then just think about what you really want in life.
Want a girlfriend? Just start going up to each and every decent girl you're attracted to and ask them out for dinner and a movie. What do you have to lose? You want to die anyways. Might as well risk rejection for high reward if you have nothing left to lose. What are you afraid of? Feeling bad over rejection? You already feel bed enough to end it all. So, go for it.
Want a good paying job? Try to get your CDL license and become a truck driver. It's easy and pays very well.
Seriously. Risk it all if you just plan on quitting anyways.