I'm sad because I have permanent self-confidence, identity, fitting-in and acceptance issues. I've moved countries twice, I'm on my third language now, I used to use steroids, and it feels like no matter what I'll always be a fuck-up despite a lot of good things happening to me. All of my classmates and my professors seem to respect and like me, I have two girlfriends and several girls want me to move back to the last country because they miss me and wish they could date me, but despite all that I feel like garbage because:
>I'm a fucking manlet
>girls in clubs never want to talk to me and dance with me even though everyone around me tells me they're supposed to be so easy and I'm a pretty good dancer and I always get people around me to have fun
>I've had multiple girls just shut me out completely after dates, cold turkey me on text messaging and shit without me having said or done anything particularly inappropriate or cringeworthy, probably due to a mix of my bland appearance, my personality, and my shit language and communication skills
>I keep getting mad at myself and refuse to accept the good things in my life and be proud of what I've accomplished
>I keep demanding more and more of myself, more foreign language skills, bigger muscles, hotter women
>too beta to fit in with chads, too normie to fit in with robots
>badly miss my ex-gf, feel like I lost her due to not working hard enough and wanting to be with other women even though she was a pretty good woman overall
>not knowing where I want to be or where I should belong
>having bad temper and focus issues
Maybe I need more testosterone, or maybe I just need paxil for the rest of my fucking life. I need some way to stop being such a self-destructive piece of shit who can't enjoy his life that he worked so hard to build up.