No.648244255 ViewReplyOriginalReport
ITT: briefly greentext your life story

>be me
>born in small town
>uneventful childhood
>get job selling cheap shitty things to the townsfolk and Syrians
>get reputation as good trustworthy merchant
>meet young lady
>we get married
>don’t have sex for three years
>finally have sex and it is hot
>things are normal for a while
>merchant business going good, but stressful
>often take time off to be alone in the mountains outside the town
>start meditating in a cave about nature and humanity and stuff
>have a vision of archangel Gabriel
>speak to God
>wander back to town
>tell people about God and archangel Gabriel
>???
>prophet
>people start listening to my message
>still slaying that nine year-old pussy
>ff to present
>1.2 billion followers
>500 million uptweets
>no one mentions my name
>no one publishes my picture

#prophetproblems