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> Be me, 15, freshman
> All of my friends eat lunch 4th period
> I eat lunch 3rd period, so it was in my best interest to make a new friend or two, being Beta af.
> Sit at table with acquaintance from elementary school, Collin, and his friends.
>Make smalltalk with Collin
> Morbidly obese tard named Ryan sits down near me.
> I knew Ryan from 7th grade social studies, so I understood his tater-ness.
>"Hoyy, Ggoys", he mutters in a high-pictched, broken-english voice.
> Collin and his friends leave me with Tarden.
> About to eat my grilled cheese, but then I notice the lunch meat in the sandwich.
>Pull it out faster than a comdomless penis.
>Mmm, testy hayum, says Ryan.
> I say he can have it, and he devours it like a savage beast.
> Introduce myself
> We discuss things like Star Wars until he leaves to go to Tard HQ.
> Next day, Ryan shows up again.
>Ryan: Hllloh! (Hello).
> Other tard sits at the table. His name is Matt, but he was often called Fat Matt, because he is almost as huge as Ryan.
>Matt is a downy.
>Matt: Heyy, Ryyunn. You made a frund finlly.
>Ryan: Go way, Met.
>Matt: No wey. Yer frund looks gey, too.
>Ryan makes a tardy screech.
>Here it comes.