Sup /b/, I have to write a 350 word essay in favor of an absurd argument by tonight. Here are the topics we get to argue:

>All the US presidents are really an alien race called the Reptilians from another galaxy

>There should be an additional purple light on stop lights that means "Up to you"

>Babies would make very good soldiers

>No one has ever bought anything from RadioShack since the 1980s

>Taylor Swift is really the devil, as in Lucifer incarnate

>We cannot see because our eyes are not real

I'm allowed to fuck around as much as I want, and I get extra points for making my professor laugh.

Help me choose the best one, and develop the strongest/dumbest arguments for support!